I have three boys and as my mom used to say I love my children the same amount but differently because they each have different needs. My older two both have special needs that seem to be similar in nature. The eldest was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD and our middle child is still young so we are waiting to see how he matures and develops further. While we wait he is attending a preschool disability program.
My youngest child, Ryan, is my beautiful bubbly blue eyed little boy. He’s fifteen months old and literally just the most content and easy going child I’ve ever seen. He’s also the only child I’ve been able to stay home with full time. I’m not sure if that made the difference or not but I can tell you he’s a notably different child than the others were at that age. Because of this there are just so many what ifs floating around. The what ifs make me wonder if I had done things differently, well what if?
What if I had stayed home full time to care for them?
What if I was exposed to something during the first two pregnancies?
What if I had fed them special diets?
What if we didn’t have well water?
What if there is just a predisposed genetic link in my family?
What if they didn’t drink soy formula as infants?
What if they were never vaccinated?
What if they were never vaccinated?
I ask myself this last question over and over again. I wake up at night and I wonder. I’m sure there are hundreds of other parents out there awake at the same time I am wondering the same thing. There’s a part of me that’s moved on and although life isn’t always easy I love my children for who they are. I have embraced the fact that my path has taken me to Holland, but at the same time when its vaccination time again the what ifs come back like an elephant in the room. What if I don’t get my kids vaccinated? What if I do?
Links:
http://www.safeminds.org/mercury/
http://www.reuters.com/article/latestCrisis/idUSN30505454
http://www.cdc.gov/FLU/ABOUT/QA/thimerosal.htm
